The Oregon Divorce Blog » Divorce Myths

At what age can a child decide custody/parenting time?

Daniel Margolin — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 04:01:52 +0000

This is a trick question. There is no age at which a child can make these decisions, until he/she turns 18 and the court no longer has jurisdiction over them.

There are, however, a few methods by which a child can have input in the process. 1. An attorney can be appointed for the child. If the child is old enough, the attorney can advocate for the child’s wishes; 2. If there is a custody evaluation, the child will be interviewed and the evaluator may take the child’s views into account; 3. The child can testify in court. I never have children testify and am opposed to it. Judges do not want children to be involved in the process and it is generally thought that the less a child can be involved in the process, the better. That being said, an attorney can help a parent to advocate for their child’s wishes.

MTV’s documentary series “True Life” doing show about divorce – Casting call!

C. Sean Stephens — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:19:43 +0000

As divorce and family lawyers in Portland, Oregon, we see the impact that divorce can have on parents and children. While our client’s stories are confidential and private, I think a lot of people would benefit from seeing a show about what real people actually go through during a divorce, and how it affects them. MTV’s documentary series, “True Life” is doing a show on young people going through or affected by divorce. We were contacted by the producers of True Life at MTV and asked to help with casting. They are looking for people between the ages of 16 and 28 anywhere in the US, who are either getting divorced or are the children of getting-divorced parents. They are looking for a few couples to follow over the next few months.

The following is the casting call notice and contact information:

MTV’s documentary series, “True Life,” is casting young people who are going through or affected by a divorce

Are you in the process of getting divorced, or considering getting a divorce? Do you feel like you married too young, and just can’t make it work anymore? Is your marriage taking an emotional toll on your home, work and social life? Do you feel like people in your life – friends, family members, your children – must take sides in your marital war? Is the chaos just too much to bear anymore? Or is your parents’ pending divorce forcing you to choose sides? Is one of your parents moving far away, and taking you along? Do you feel like their divorce is somehow your fault… or that it’s basically ruining your life? If divorce is affecting your life right now, MTV wants to hear from you. If you appear to be between the ages of 16 and 28 email us at divorce@mtvn.comwith all the details. Please be sure to include your name, location, phone number and a current photo, if possible.

“Since its initial episode in 1998, MTV’s award-winning True Life documentary series has told remarkable real-life stories of young people and the unusual subcultures they inhabit. Whether documenting the lives of gay marriage activists, individuals dealing with obesity, or teens in high school–the True Life series tells its stories solely from the varied voices and points-of-view of its characters–putting the series in the unique position of reflecting the state of youth culture at any given moment.”

- MTV’s True Life website

http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/truelife/series.jhtml

Divorce Myth: Your spouse can block a divorce by objecting to it.

C. Sean Stephens — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 04:45:09 +0000

A “myth” we come across with surprising frequency is that you need your spouses’ consent to get a divorce. As an Oregon divorce and family law lawyer, I am repeatedly surprised by the number of people who believe spousal consent is required. This myth comes in varying forms, from (1) a belief you can’t get divorced unless your spouse agrees to get divorced, to (2) you can’t start the divorce process unless your spouse “accepts” the divorce papers, to (3) you can’t get a divorce unless your spouse signs the final judgment. In Oregon, all three are myths, myths, and more myths! While your divorce may not be simple if your spouse objects, your spouse cannot stop a divorce that you want. If you want the divorce, and you jump through the right procedural hoops, you can get the divorce with or without your spouses’ blessing.

This myth is wrong for several reasons. First, Oregon is a “no fault” divorce state, meaning you don’t have to prove any wrongdoing to get a divorce. All you have to prove is that you have “irreconcilable differences.” ORS 107.025. The fact that you want a divorce and your spouse doesn’t is considered an “irreconcilable difference.” So, when someone “objects” to a divorce, really all they can do is dispute the terms of the divorce (custody, parenting time, property division, support), but not the divorce itself.

Second, your spouse cannot block a divorce by not accepting the divorce papers. To start a divorce action, you need to serve your spouse with the divorce petition and other pleadings. Your spouse can accept them voluntarily, or you can serve your spouse without their consent. If your spouse is avoiding service, you may be able to get permission from the court to allow for “alternative service”, basically permission to serve your spouse through posting, mailing, or even publishing information about the divorce in the newspaper! If your spouse is dodging service, talk to your lawyer about whether alternative service is a good option.

Finally, your spouse does not have to sign the final divorce papers for it to be approved by the court. If your spouse won’t cooperate, you can get a divorce by “defaulting” your spouse. Once you file your divorce petition, serve your spouse (with or without their blessing), and wait 30 days, you can get an order from the court barring your spouse from objecting to the divorce. At 90 days after service you can submit a final judgment of divorce, without your spouse’s signature. Even if your spouse objects and files a response, the judge can and will order a divorce over his or her objection at trial.

So, now you know. If you are contemplating divorce and your spouse tells you that you can’t get divorced without their permission, consult with a family law lawyer. Your spouse either doesn’t know, or they are misleading you.

Divorce Myths: Everything must go before we are divorced!

C. Sean Stephens — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 23:16:47 +0000

A surprisingly common “divorce myth” we hear in our practice is that division of property must happen before the couple is divorced. There is no such rule! The court’s power to divide property after a divorce is defined in ORS 107.105(1)(f). Whenever a court finalizes a divorce, separation, or annulment action, the court can provide for the division of real property and personal property as is “just and proper in all the circumstances.” For example, the divorce judgment may explain how the parties are to divide the personal property after the divorce, or provide rules about how the parties will sell real property after the divorce. Once you have an agreement (or court ruling) on division of your assets, you can divorce first and divide and sell later.

Divorce Myths: Divorce always takes a long time.

C. Sean Stephens — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 04:43:44 +0000

Some divorces do take many months, or over a year, but this is a result of the process and conflicts and not mandated by the divorce statutes. The length of your case usually depends on how your case resolves. Many counties in Oregon have policies about how long a case may take (for example, some counties say 90% of cases should resolve within 9 months.) Cases that resolve by a trial may take 9 months, or potentially longer. Cases that resolve by default take less time than cases that are litigated. For cases that end in a default judgment, there is a 90 day waiting period from the date of service until the court can enter a final judgment. (ORS 107.065) However, if the parties agree, or “stipulate” to a divorce, the court can and usually does waive the 90 day waiting period, meaning there is NO waiting period. If you don’t have kids, and you live in a county where the court will sign a divorce judgment on the spot, a same day divorce is possible (maybe not desirable, but possible.) Many people express suprise (hence the myth) when they learn a same day divorce is possible. In the right circumstances, (remarriage, relocation, etc.) a same day divorce may be worth pursuing.