Top 10 Tips on Redecorating Your Home After Divorce

Posted on December 6, 2011 by C. Sean Stephens

Divorce can be a difficult process to go through. Remaining in the marital home after a divorce can be emotionally difficult and contribute to lingering hurt feelings. Focusing on the past won’t help, and it is psychologically important to reclaim your old living space and make it your new, vibrant living space. The Oregon Divorce Blog offers the following 10 tips on reclaiming your space.

  1. Ditch the joint property. Remove the old things that you bought as a couple and own the place. Change the interior design according to your new self. Make it more attractive and lively.
  2. Keep only what you will use. When dividing property, if you think you are going to remain in the marital home, don’t take things that you really won’t use.
  3. Get some color. Spend time to research on what style your new space will look like. Explore different colors and ideas. Craft your space according to your personality this time. Change the colors of your rooms. Color can influence mood, and find some colors that go with your stuff and make you happy. If you have kids, consider leaving their rooms alone, and if you are going to paint or move things around, make sure to talk to them first and get their opinions!
  4. Splurge on bedding. Throw out the bedding from the master bedroom and buy new bedding. Just do it.
  5. Mix up your furniture.  Re-arrange your furniture so they layout is new and fresh.
  6. De-clutter and organize. This is a great opportunity to de-clutter and eliminate stress.
  7. Change your art. If you can afford to, pick an artistic style that is uniquely yours and purchase art. It helps.
  8. Get good lighting. Lighting has a big effect on mood, and new lamps or brighter lights can really help.
  9. Change the location of your collectibles. You can place your collectibles anywhere you want them to be. Have that special piece that your spouse hated and buried in the closet? Bring it out and be proud!
  10. Purge your photographs. If you don’t have kids, change your photos to remove pictures of your ex, and bring out your family and childhood pictures. If you have kids, it is a good idea to have a picture of your ex and the kids somewhere in the house to send a message to the kids that you and the ex co-operate.

 

Posted in Top 10 List | 1 Comment

Parenting time: Is sharing the “nest” the best?

Posted on November 22, 2011 by C. Sean Stephens

Divorce can prompt parents to consider a variety of options when it comes to caring for their children. As divorce attorneys, we regularly see parents weigh the pros and cons of different parenting time arrangements in order to find the option that is the least disruptive for their children. In an effort to create a stable home environment for children, some parents are turning to an alternative approach that may raise a few eyebrows: Nesting. Instead of requiring the children to shuttle back and forth between two residences in order to spend time with each parent, nesting allows the children to remain put while the parents move in and out of the house in accordance with their parenting times. At the end of the parenting time, one parent will leave the residence to make room for the other parent. Stability is a clear advantage of nesting. Because they always remain in the same house, the children sleep in the same bed every night. They have the same walk home from school each day. They play with the same neighborhood children each weekend. Nesting allows the children to stick to a comfortable and familiar schedule, eliminating the need for the children to lug suitcases back and forth between two houses. While nesting may be the best option for some parents and their children, the drawbacks can make nesting off limits for others. Nesting would require the parents to maintain three total residences—the main “nest” house, plus the houses each parent retires to at the end of his or her parenting time. The additional housing costs could make nesting impossible for many. Alternately, nesting parents could maintain only two residences by sharing the same house away from parenting time in the same manner as they share the “nest” house. However, some parents may have a difficult time sharing all their space with a former spouse or partner. Remarried parents might not want to drag their new spouse between two houses as well, especially if the new spouse also has children. Along the same line, your new wife may not want to sleep in the same room where your ex-wife sleeps with her new husband. And sharing living spaces can lead to some age-old roommate squabbles, like whose turn is it to buy toilet paper. Nesting will likely never be the option the majority of divorcing parents choose, but it does work for some people. As with any parenting time arrangement, it is important for both parents to consider all options carefully.

Posted in Parenting Time / Visitation | 3 Comments

8 Tips For Surviving A Divorce

Posted on November 14, 2011 by C. Sean Stephens

Divorce is a legal process with enormous social and personal consequences.  As Portland, Oregon divorce lawyers, we are in the habit of giving legal advice, but in talking to and working with clients have seen some struggle and some thrive through and after the divorce process. This post isn’t legal advice, but personal advice based on watching people go through the divorce process for almost two decades.

Is your spouse in the situation of saying “I don’t”? Like “I don’t want to be with you anymore”, “I don’t love you anymore”. In facing a divorce, you may be tempted to do things out of anger, distress, or frustration that you may regret in the future. The following 8 tips can help you through a difficult time to a better place.

  1. Don’t be a loner. Isolating yourself will just make you feel sad and you’re giving yourself more time to pity yourself. Surround yourself with loving people because positive vibes will help you regain joy. Especially when it’s a holiday, don’t be alone. Try to be with friends or family.
  2. Don’t start bad habits. Now’s not the time to drink more or start other bad habits. Treat yourself. Go to a parlor, gym, restaurant, or the mall. Make yourself important. This is the time to prove your spouse that it’s not your lost if they want a divorce. Take care of yourself.
  3. Don’t jump into a new relationship. When you’re ending your marriage, you are in a state where in any opposite sex that can comfort you will be a candidate to be your center of attention. You may just mistake it for love but it’s not. Avoid a rebound relationship. Allow yourself to heal and grow. Don’t be pressured by your friends. You alone can tell when you are ready for a new relationship.
  4. Don’t let your ex’ belongings stay in your place and vice versa. It will only make you remember the pain when you see things that belong to him or her. Make sure nothing will be left behind when he or she moves out. This way it is easier to move on.
  5. Don’t keep on blaming. Stop blaming yourself or anybody about what happened. This is your destiny. You will soon get over it. And you will find out the answers to all your questions as to “why” when the right time comes. Don’t let your self esteem suffer. Pick up the pieces and stand up.
  6. Don’t assume and don’t expect. Don’t assume the judge will be in favor of you because life is full of unexpected things. A divorce can be with surprises sometimes. Just be open and ready to whatever the decision will be. Take life as it comes.
  7. Don’t avoid communicating with your ex. This is okay if your ex was not abusive; but if not, you should try to be civil for the sake of your kids. If there is need to talk about your divorce or marriage then just listen and talk with respect.
  8. Don’t be bitter for so long. You may feel angry towards your ex but you can’t be like that for the rest of your life. It will not do you any good. Just think, he or she was once a part of your life and you had some good times together. Give yourself a time to bring out all the pain and then stop. Past is past, you should look forward. Let go.
Posted in Top 10 List | 1 Comment

Bankruptcy and Child Support

Posted on November 13, 2011 by C. Sean Stephens

As the economy continues to struggle, bankruptcy can become an enticing option to more and more people who are looking for a fresh start. We have found that bankruptcy can pose some interesting questions for those receiving payments from their former spouse or partner. What happens if your former husband or wife files for bankruptcy? Will you lose your right to collect any back child or spousal support payments? The Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2005 (BAPCPA) makes certain that child support and spousal support cannot be discharged through bankruptcy. In fact, you may be able to collect your debts by attaching property owned by your former spouse that is normally unreachable during a bankruptcy proceeding. Other debts owed to you by your former spouse can sometimes be discharged during bankruptcy, depending on the nature of the debt and the chapter of bankruptcy he or she is filing.

BAPCPA is still relatively a new law, so there is some uncertainty about how BAPCPA will apply in some situations. In addition, the process to protect your rights can be complex if your former spouse files for bankruptcy. If your former spouse owes you money and is filing for bankruptcy, it is important to consult with an experienced attorney. The lawyers are Stephens Margolin PC have substantial experience in cases involving support obligations and bankruptcy.

 

Posted in Child Support, Divorce | 1 Comment

New Case Law – Support Enforcement Division Does Not Have Authority to Modify Child Support While an Appeal is Pending

Posted on November 10, 2011 by Meg Clark-Kilcoyne

On August 31, 2011, the Oregon Court of Appeals decided Division of Family Support Unit v. Sullivan.

This case deals with a parent’s ability to modify child support through the Support Enforcement Division while the divorce judgment is being appealed.  Mother had appealed the trial court’s decision in the divorce case and, while her appeal was pending, Father requested a modification of child support.  There followed a number of different administrative and Circuit Court hearings related to Father’s request to modify child support, and Mother eventually appealed the final decision.  The Court of Appeals stated that the Support Enforcement Division did not have the authority to modify child support while the appeal was pending.

It is important to note that, under ORS 19.275, the trial court can modify child support while an appeal is pending based on a substantial change of circumstances.  This decision only limits administrative changes to child support.

The entire opinion can be found here.

Posted in Child Support, Modification, News | 2 Comments