On a legal note, this site is for after the divorce! Do NOT do this during your divorce without agreement or  because of the statutory restraining order on assets.

*** UPDATE TO POST ****

The site Never Liked It Anyway appears to be down. They had a brilliant idea and I hope they are back up soon!

The lawyers at Stephens Margolin PC have substantial experience assisting Oregonians with prenuptial agreements.

1. Ditch the joint property. Remove the old things that you bought as a couple and own the place. Change the interior design according to your new self. Make it more attractive and lively.
2. Keep only what you will use. When dividing property, if you think you are going to remain in the marital home, don’t take things that you really won’t use.
3. Get some color. Spend time to research on what style your new space will look like. Explore different colors and ideas. Craft your space according to your personality this time. Change the colors of your rooms. Color can influence mood, and find some colors that go with your stuff and make you happy. If you have kids, consider leaving their rooms alone, and if you are going to paint or move things around, make sure to talk to them first and get their opinions!
4. Splurge on bedding. Throw out the bedding from the master bedroom and buy new bedding. Just do it.
5. Mix up your furniture.  Re-arrange your furniture so they layout is new and fresh.
6. De-clutter and organize. This is a great opportunity to de-clutter and eliminate stress.
7. Change your art. If you can afford to, pick an artistic style that is uniquely yours and purchase art. It helps.
8. Get good lighting. Lighting has a big effect on mood, and new lamps or brighter lights can really help.
9. Change the location of your collectibles. You can place your collectibles anywhere you want them to be. Have that special piece that your spouse hated and buried in the closet? Bring it out and be proud!
10. Purge your photographs. If you don’t have kids, change your photos to remove pictures of your ex, and bring out your family and childhood pictures. If you have kids, it is a good idea to have a picture of your ex and the kids somewhere in the house to send a message to the kids that you and the ex co-operate.

Is your spouse in the situation of saying “I don’t”? Like “I don’t want to be with you anymore”, “I don’t love you anymore”. In facing a divorce, you may be tempted to do things out of anger, distress, or frustration that you may regret in the future. The following 8 tips can help you through a difficult time to a better place.

1. Don’t be a loner. Isolating yourself will just make you feel sad and you’re giving yourself more time to pity yourself. Surround yourself with loving people because positive vibes will help you regain joy. Especially when it’s a holiday, don’t be alone. Try to be with friends or family.
2. Don’t start bad habits. Now’s not the time to drink more or start other bad habits. Treat yourself. Go to a parlor, gym, restaurant, or the mall. Make yourself important. This is the time to prove your spouse that it’s not your lost if they want a divorce. Take care of yourself.
3. Don’t jump into a new relationship. When you’re ending your marriage, you are in a state where in any opposite sex that can comfort you will be a candidate to be your center of attention. You may just mistake it for love but it’s not. Avoid a rebound relationship. Allow yourself to heal and grow. Don’t be pressured by your friends. You alone can tell when you are ready for a new relationship.
4. Don’t let your ex’ belongings stay in your place and vice versa. It will only make you remember the pain when you see things that belong to him or her. Make sure nothing will be left behind when he or she moves out. This way it is easier to move on.
5. Don’t keep on blaming. Stop blaming yourself or anybody about what happened. This is your destiny. You will soon get over it. And you will find out the answers to all your questions as to “why” when the right time comes. Don’t let your self esteem suffer. Pick up the pieces and stand up.
6. Don’t assume and don’t expect. Don’t assume the judge will be in favor of you because life is full of unexpected things. A divorce can be with surprises sometimes. Just be open and ready to whatever the decision will be. Take life as it comes.
7. Don’t avoid communicating with your ex. This is okay if your ex was not abusive; but if not, you should try to be civil for the sake of your kids. If there is need to talk about your divorce or marriage then just listen and talk with respect.
8. Don’t be bitter for so long. You may feel angry towards your ex but you can’t be like that for the rest of your life. It will not do you any good. Just think, he or she was once a part of your life and you had some good times together. Give yourself a time to bring out all the pain and then stop. Past is past, you should look forward. Let go.

BAPCPA is still relatively a new law, so there is some uncertainty about how BAPCPA will apply in some situations. In addition, the process to protect your rights can be complex if your former spouse files for bankruptcy. If your former spouse owes you money and is filing for bankruptcy, it is important to consult with an experienced attorney. The lawyers are Stephens Margolin PC have substantial experience in cases involving support obligations and bankruptcy.

This case deals with a parent’s ability to modify child support through the Support Enforcement Division while the divorce judgment is being appealed.  Mother had appealed the trial court’s decision in the divorce case and, while her appeal was pending, Father requested a modification of child support.  There followed a number of different administrative and Circuit Court hearings related to Father’s request to modify child support, and Mother eventually appealed the final decision.  The Court of Appeals stated that the Support Enforcement Division did not have the authority to modify child support while the appeal was pending.

It is important to note that, under ORS 19.275, the trial court can modify child support while an appeal is pending based on a substantial change of circumstances.  This decision only limits administrative changes to child support.

The entire opinion can be found here.

In this case, the victim was granted a restraining order against her ex-boyfriend due to his threatening behavior and stalking, including sending threatening text messages, lurking near the victim’s home and trespassing on her property, and vandalizing her property.  In order for the court to issue a FAPA restraining order, the victim had to show that she had been the victim of abuse by her ex-boyfriend in the past 180 days, that there was imminent danger of further abuse, and that her ex-boyfriend represented a credible threat to her physical safety.  The definition of abuse includes conduct which places the victim in fear of imminent bodily injury.  In this case, the trial court continued the restraining order and the Court of Appeals upheld it.  The Court of Appeals found that victim’s proof of the ex-boyfriend’s repeated threatening behavior and stalking was sufficient to establish that she was in fear of imminent bodily injury.  The Court further found that his persistence in threatening the victim and her friend, in trespassing on the victim’s property, and in harassing her by chasing her in his car were sufficient to show that the victim was in imminent danger of further abuse and that the ex-boyfriend represented a credible threat to her safety.

Many people believe that an individual must physically harm the victim in order for the court to grant the victim a restraining order.  However, many different actions which cause an individual to fear imminent harm may be the basis for a restraining order.

The entire opinion can be found here.

In this case, the parties signed a stipulated general judgment which awarded child support to Mother.  The judgment included a provision preventing either party from modifying child support in the future based on changes in income or any other change of circumstances, such as a change in parenting time.  Four years later, Father attempted to modify his child support obligation based on a decrease in his income, and the trial court upheld the agreement not to modify.  Father argued that the provision violated public policy because it deprived the state of the right to set child support according to the support guidelines and deprived the court of its authority to modify child support.  The Court of Appeals found the agreement did not take away the court’s authority to modify child support, but rather was an agreement between the parties waiving their right to seek modification.  The Court found that such waiver provisions are enforceable, unless the circumstances of a particular case make enforcement of the agreement contrary to public policy.  The Court left the open the possibility that it would not enforce such an agreement if doing so would negatively impact the children in a particular case.

Parties to a divorce should generally avoid provisions which limit their ability to seek future modifications which would be allowed under Oregon law.

The entire opinion can be found here.

In this case, the Court of Appeals stated that the stipulated divorce judgment that the parties had agreed to in 2009 was enforceable even though it treated a child for whom the parties were legal guardians as a child of the marriage. Under Oregon law, a child of the marriage is a biological child of the parties or a child whom the parties adopted during the marriage. The former husband and wife had two biological children and were legal guardians of the husband’s nephew, who had lived with them since birth. The stipulated judgment determined custody, parenting time, and child support for all three children, treating all of them as children of the marriage. The husband sought to modify the child support award, arguing that the court had no authority to approve or enforce a judgment which he believed was void. The court stated that it would enforce a stipulated judgment as long as it didn’t violate law or public policy even if the trial court would have lacked authority to order the parties to provide support for the nephew.

The entire opinion can be found here.