A parenting time study may be a good way to address your concerns. The legal standard for modification is what is in the “best interests” of the children, and it sounds like you have been putting him first with your activities and involvement. I would encourage you to call us to discuss your situation further.

I am by far the more involved parent. I have volunteered in 3-4 youth organizations he’s been involved in, have attended every parent-teacher conference he’s ever had, stayed on top of his grades and in fairly regular contact with his teachers and have usually been the one who stayed home with him when he was sick or wound up being taken to the doctor/dentist. My ex is more concerned with finding her next hubby or with whom she’s currently dating and has a history of missing his games/concerts/etc… She rarely allows him to have friends over, has never allowed him to have a sleep-over and has never had a birthday party for him where he has been allowed to invite his friends. At age 12, my son has figured this out about his mother and even told me that she is using the child support payments to make her car and insurance payments and then tells him that she doesn’t have any money to spend on him. He still loves his mother and isn’t trying to change who is designated the custodial parent, but he wants to spend an equal amount of time with each of us — one week off and one week on year ’round. My ex is being very resistent to this change. At first she said, “it just wouldn’t work.” Then she told me that she, “just wasn’t ready for it.” Now she’s telling my youngest that he has no input into the visitation schedule until he’s at least 13-14 years old.

This is not a situation where one parent has a lot more money than the other parent (less than $5K difference) or has offered some type of “bribe” to him to induce him to ask for this change. If anything, the rules at my house are more strict. It’s just that my son realizes he has a better home life, his grades are better and he gets more quality parenting time when he’s with me. Do we have any reasonable options available to us or are we just stuck with the present situation?

Absent some legitimate reason for your son not to visit, the wishes of an 11 year old may be considered, but will in no way force the court’s hand.

Per our post, there is no magic age where a child gets a deciding vote, but older kids, through either a custody evaluator or a lawyer representing the child, can express a preference that has some weight with the court. A court may well listen to a 15 year old if the information is presented properly. You need to talk to a lawyer quickly. Call us, or set up an appointment with someone in your area immediately.