This is a trick question. There is no age at which a child can make these decisions, until he/she turns 18 and the court no longer has jurisdiction over them.
There are, however, a few methods by which a child can have input in the process. 1. An attorney can be appointed for the child. If the child is old enough, the attorney can advocate for the child’s wishes; 2. If there is a custody evaluation, the child will be interviewed and the evaluator may take the child’s views into account; 3. The child can testify in court. I never have children testify and am opposed to it. Judges do not want children to be involved in the process and it is generally thought that the less a child can be involved in the process, the better. That being said, an attorney can help a parent to advocate for their child’s wishes.
I am a mother that lost custody because I moved to Texas. I was the phycological parent from the day he was born to he was 10. I was never married to his father and because I bought and sold houses I was considered unstable. My son’s attorney clearly knew that he wanted to be with me but ruled that he stay with the father rather than me because they felt he would be the better parent to continue a relationship with me etc. None the less I don’t speak to my son very often because they dont let him talk to me, they dictate my flight schedules causing me financial hardship, my son calls me crying saying that they talk bad about me, not covering my son on health insurance causing me to pay huge amounts in cash payments, and childsupport, not paying for his portion of flights, all on a $12hr salary. My question is since they didn’t listen to his wishes at 11 when will they consider his wishes? Can I file contempt because he is not living up to the court order making it easy for me to have a relationship with my son?
Mary:
Children are allowed to make decisions for themselves when they are no longer minors. However, as children approach 18, their preference has more weight. A key consideration is the ability to get the preference in front of a Judge. Judge’s almost unilformly dislike parents that ask children to testify in custody and parenting time proceedings. Talk to an attorney about getting a children’s attorney re-involved, or about doing a parenting time or custody study. In order for contempt to work as a remedy, there has to be a willful resistance to or obstruction of the court’s authority, process, order, or judgmetn. We previously blogged about contempt as a remedy for parenting time violations here. Contempt can also be used for some financial obligations. You should go over your judgment with an experienced family law attorney to see what can be done.
Hi me and my soon to be husband have been trying to get custody of his daughter my soon to be step daughter for two years now, court hearing after court hearing we finaly had the last court hearing and because the dad was not very stable the first two months of her life, the mother got full legal custody with 50/50 parenting time, so altgough we have week on week off, it is very painful to see our now three in a half year old daughter kick and scream when she has to go back to her mothers house, she douse have a step sister that is only 6 weeks yonger than her who has been in her life since they were both 7 and 8 months old, plus she has a baby sister who is 9 months old. We are very stable with a beautiful home and always taking the girls out and spending time with them 24/7 we don’t belive in daycare or babysitters, wile the mother is always dropping off my step daughter to any one that will take her and has moved over six times in two years, it breaks our heart to see our little girl scream don’t leave me daddy and jenny please she says every time we have to take her to her moms house. And now the mother is demanding half of her co pay that she pays for medical insurance, when she makes more money than us and we have three kids to suport she only has one. What should we do? Can she demand money from us even after the court said no child suport it demanded sence we have 50/50 paranting time?
Hello, I just want to know weather it’s illegal or not if a parent has no rights or what so ever to see their children. My brother’s ex ran away from the family, leaving him with 2 kids for 3 years. She came back and fought for the children physically and although they were not married legally, she won the case and have custody over the children. She claims that he had beat her causing her to have bruises all over her body. The child testify, and all they asked the child in court is weather or not the child was “hurt” in the process. When the child said “yes”, they gave custody over to the mother. Now he has no rights to see his kids because she has a restraining order on him. What advice can you give about this case?
oh yes and i forgot to add that the mother lives in California while the two children are living in Kansas with her family. Is that legal for her to do that? she claims that their babysitter is in Kansas.
Hello : I have a 13 year old girl that wants to live with her grandmother . However i said no . She says that she read that she take me to court and testify against me . I just wanted to know is this possible ?
I am in a state of shock! After a custody battle a few years ago, my ex and my 13yr old are in cahoots AGAIN to take custody away from me. How a father willing convince a child to turn against their own mother? I’m sick to my stomach with all of this.
I have loss custody to the abuser. What I have gone through is unreal to be with my children. Since, July 1st, 2010, his girlfriend has kept me from my children and told me they are hers now. They have filed bogus protective orders on me to make excuses for me not to see me children. The girlfriend has taken over our lifes and traumatized my children. It is horrible! I am only guilty of being a very good mother. I have cried so many tears. How could evil prevail? Please contact me. I feel so alone. I just read from one writer that she is sick to her stomach. I know exactly how you feel. Also, I have no money and the father makes a six-figure salary. Is there ever justice? Judges do not care about the best interest of children! It is about who has money and who lies the best!!!!!!!! I still hope for a change in custody, but it takes money. I miss my children every moment of the day. They are my life. So, to be alone most days without your children to take care of is not normal. God wants me to be their mother, not a stranger who appears from off the internet that the father met. We need to band together to fight this cruelty to mothers and children.
Kandy:
There are resources available in our community when one has a lower income than their spouse. St. Andrews legal clinic is a fantastic resource and has many talented lawyers. Legal Aid can help in some cases where there is domestic violence. A link to county by county legal aid resources is here.
Hello,
I live in Montana and two of my nephews live in Oregon with their mother. The oldest boy (10 years) is constantly sending text messages to his father (my brother) and talking of wanting to not feel pain anymore, wanting to just die so he can go away. He wants to live with his father but custody was given to the mother. At what age and how would we go about getting the courts to allow him to live with his father if that was what he wanted? We do not want him to be put through testifying against his mother as that emotional pain would stick with him. Please advise. Thank you!
Rachel:
Generally speaking, the age when a child gets to decide where they live is the age of majority. Any change of custody or parenting time before the age of majority needs to be in the child’s best interests, and not just what a child wants. There are many things that can be done to have the child’s voice heard, such as having an attorney appointed for the child, or doing a custody or parenting time study.
You should call our office or consult with another attorney about the specifics of your situation.
Hoping you can help. My husband and I are trying to figure out if it’s worht the time and money to go to court for custody of my 10 year old daughter. Her father and I both live in Oregon, but about an hour away. The custody arrangement (done through mediation) is she lives with him, I see her every other weekend. During the summer it’s two weeks on, two weeks off. Major holidays are switched except every year I get her Christmas Eve until noon on Christmas Day.
For about three years, she has wanted to live with my husband and I and her father keeps saying no. But, I have had enough of his childness when it comes to how he fathers her. The final straw: Two years ago we had her for both Christmas Eve and Day so this year he was going to have her both days. He and I agreed that I would pick her up the day after. About a week before, he tells me he wants to keep her longer. I had already made the plans, based on his agreement, so I refused to change. He said let our daughter decide. She did, she wanted it to stay the same. He said “Then you call Grandma (his mom) and see what she says. See what happens.” My daughter hung up with him and was crying. How could he play head games with her??
Sorry for the long story, my point is he’s not a “bad” father, just doesn’t do what’s best for our daughter a lot. She wants to live with me, I want her to live with me, circumstances have changed in my life DRAMATICALLY since the mediation. The question is, do I have a case? Is it worth the time, money and effort?
Dear Amy:
To answer your question, i would have to know more about your particular situation. A 10 year old doesn’t get to vote where she wants to live, however, her preference has some weight in the context of a custody evaluation. And, the court does require a change of circumstances before modifying custody, which it sounds like you may be able to establish. I strongly encourage you to call our office or consult with another experienced family law firm regarding the case.
My sons father who has never been in my sons life. Wants visitation with my son who is 14 has never meet his father has no interest in meeting his father at this time. I have put my son in counseling to help him cope with this situation. He feels that he has no rights in this matter. What should i do?
My son and his x never married. He died two years ago, leaving three daughters, They had no formal agreement but the girls usually spent their time 50/50, With the exception of the oldest girl who only went to visit her mother one day every 4-7 weeks. The oldest girl stayed with her father or at my home. Since she was born she has been in my home more the 50% of her life. After her father died she stayed full time with me. Her grades and attendance was excellent. One year ago she admitted she needed to be with her sisters and moved in with her mother and two sisters. She still stayed with me on all school vacations and plans to continue this. Trouble is her attendance and grades have been horrid, she fears failing 6th grade now. She has asked her mother multi times to let her move back with her grandmother. Her mother has said she will send her to juvenal hall and her grandmother to jail first. I am saddened and concerned about her life. What are the rights of a 12 year old girl in Oregon who is in the situation? I want her to be able to move back in to my home and need to know how I can assist her
Doris:
Oregon gives grandparents and other third parties who have a strong relationship with a child the right to ask the court for visitation or even custody. It’s in ORS 109.119. In your type of situation, it is better to act quickly after a relationship has been disrupted by a legal parent. You should call us to further discuss your rights.
hummm my ex took my daughter who is 13 out of oregon and moved her to L.A i have got a lawyer now i hope i can get her back after she took her out of state on me and her step brother put his fingers in her when she was 8 and they dropped the charges down to sex harrament and he has touched her 3 more times sence then do u have any advice do i have a chance at getting her back to me and a judge here in oregon told her she was unfit thanx for reading
I have a parenting plan in Oregon for my two girls, ages 4 and 5. We live North of Seattle and my ex lives in Portland. He tells me that when the girls are old enough they’re going to live with him because I’ve gotten them for so long and he deserves to spend more time with them. He was unemployed for over a year and just got a job. He doesn’t exercise his full parenting time. We have a judge already and previously when I went in to modify his parenting time from two weekends a month having the girls in Portland to one weekend a month in Portland and one weekend a month up in Washington she agreed with me. He is also $5000 behind in child support. What are the chances of the girls living with him when they get older? He keeps saying the age of 12. My heart breaks thinking about this. He is a good father, but I have always been the primary caregiver and I am a great mother. What is most irritating is that he is planting ideas in the girls heads, my oldest will come back saying that I need to let the girls see their dad more, when I feel he could move up here if he wants to see them more, or at the very least exercise his full parenting time. Is he going to be able to take the girls away from me because he’s putting those ideas in their head?
Kristi:
The first two reasons given by your ex for changing custody are not reasons the court considers. Parents don’t take turns with kids, nor does what a parent deserves matter. These two reasons are all about him, and not about what’s good for the girls. The only inquiry the court is interested in if presented with a request for change of custody is (1) has there been a substantial change in circumstances in a parent’s capacity to parent, and (2) is a change of custody in a child’s best interests. Older children have some voice in where they live, but they cannot make the decision to move from one house to another. You may want to consider getting the girls into counseling to help them with the issue of your ex discussing custody changes with them.
If you want to troubleshoot further, contact our office for a consultation.
I am a fifteen year old girl and I want to move in with my real dad, who lives about 15 miles away from my mom, whom I now live with. I have been having a really youth time at school and home lately and I feel like it would be best to move in with my dad. I get a ton if pressure from my step dad to do everything right and he yells and gets angry a lot. I have been thinking this through for a long time now and I believe it’s what is the right choice t o do. my question is how to tell my mom without breaking her heart and without taking hr to court. are there any laws that are in my favor that I could use?
thanks
I was unaware of my husbands drug problem for 2 years. He was able ti hide it through excuses to leave to work at 10pm or 9pm to stock his vending machines. I was always with the children made their meals. I was in a constant battle with his mother who would take her out of the school she owned with out permission. confrontation one after the other never stopped her from getting my liitle girl, who has been brainwashing her against me fro a long time. I only know this now because I left. My son 4yrs I kept close to me and picked up early in a 3 to 6 yr old schol, so she could not get him also. To top it off my husband had been leaving every night to party and do and sell any drug possible. In rehab he said he lost 150,000$ in gambling and drugs. He was abusive to me verbally and not a lot physical but his problem existed since the start of our marriage. I did not know the reality of an addict and then in his rehab for the family the councelor always asks have you had enough. The final group session I felt as though he was looking into me and sais those words, “have you had enough.” I then began to think of how to escape him and this long term disease that never dies no matter how hard they try it always comes back to drugs with him. To have it a secret for 2 yrs I can’t trust him and he will never really be able to.
The day I took myself and two small children to my parents was a releif. Then turned into disaster. He filed claming I had a drug problem without any documentation. I had police records of domestic violence to the highest degree papers, pictures of him past out ontop if a pill box with scattered pills all around. I had his rehab documents from two months prior and the judge did not take any of it as a problem.
The court order became week to week. Each week with their father and his family the children came back crying and my son was doped up on benedryl because he won’t or can be brainwashed because of close relationship. As weeks went on my duaghter and son were told to behave as bad as they could and the would get something in return like a toy or a trip to funparks. My daughter was trying to convince my son that dad and his mother will give them anything they want and he could have their hugs and kisses. I heard my son crying and telling her that he wanted mommy’s hugs and kisses. I went into the room after listening to enough of his sister’s addiment attempt to stay with daddy and lie about mommy. I was so sad and angry how my 6 yr old duaghter has sold me out for prizes. My daughter has been showing signs of sexual abuse for two years. her father told me it was normal for a little girl to masterbate constanly even to the point that they bleed. she masterbates openly with out even thinking infront of my son,me,her father and her dads family. The children try to fondle me my mother, each other. I mean I caught my son about to lick my daughters vagina trough her clothes. They laughed and thought it was funny. My son was told be his sister ti tickle her in her vagina. the list goes on. Onw week my son came home and his penis was bleeding and had puss on his penis. He awoke that first night screaming that he did not want to be around his gramdparents or go to their home with dad. what I saw and the damage to his penis, I called the Gaurdian ad-litem in distrest for help. the doctor did not run a full test and explained it to be a yeast infection the nurse said it looked like clamitia to her. Then the following week he came home with a staff infection on his penis. The courts think I am falsely acusing the father to get custody. I have had many doctors say that theirr behavior is not normal and is learned. CPS and th GAL know the Father and grandmother through her school and are connected to both of my childrens addvocates. Anything which is nothing twisted into damaging metally to the kids. The mother in-law wrote a lie, made up story that I got my child to ask their cousin if she had been touched in her privates by the grandparent and father and my daughter response as said by grandmother was “well my mom told me to ask. so I had to do it.” My daught is fueled by greed. My son and I are saddly missing eachother but my daughter is taking it away by lying with them. I worry of how they treat him since his love and loyalty remain to me. The court does not acknowledge and of his statements of the harm they are doing to me and that dad is still using drugs. But my daughters lies were enough to take temporary custody and I am trying to be forced to admit my transgressions or I don’t see my children. I miss them my heart is breaking as well as my soul, but I refuse to admit a fabricated lie. Now I have to be closely watched when I see the for a day visit. I was granted every other weekend but my daughter is to afraid to be with me at night. This gives them ample time to scrabble the kids heads up and deny me a relationship with them. How does an abusive father and drug abuser of which are all documented gain all the power and keep my children from me and damage their minds in the meantime? I am fighting a school of employees that have seen lee waisted during school hours infront of children who will lie in order to keep their jobs and family to lie as well for him. My daughter calls me miss i.. by accident instead of mommy because she is so indocturinated. I feel I have lost and my son will be tormented in the days they have him of which are all right now. This is injustice like I’ve never seen. They look away at every tactick he uses to keep her on their side. I have been positive about dad and that seems to have screwed me even more. What can I do?
I live in OR, my son is going to be 16 years old in a month. My husband and I are divorcing so I will be forced to move out of the state as I don’t have the money to sustain a single life here and need to go get help from family. I currently make enough to pay a lot of child support but that will change when I move, will I still owe that? Also my son doesn’t want to move away with me as he has decided this is his home now. His father says he will keep him. At 16, if there is no abuse or other circumstances so that he can’t stay with his father, do I just have to say goodbye? I do want what my son to be happy, but this is killing me. I don’t have the money for an attorney, I have read up on the laws and it so far I don’t see anything in my favor. The support I owe in this state alone for summer visits is going to break me! If I am in a different state can I re-file support orders there or do I need to re-file for support where my son is? I feel so helpless right now.
My boyfriend’s daughter lives in California with her mother. She visits her father in Oregon all of Spring Break and the entire summer. She does not want to go back to California. She has been adamant the entire summer that she wants to stay in Oregon where she is from. She is 14 years old. Her father is thinking of just not sending her back and enrolling her in school in Oregon this Fall. Unmarried parents. Please advise your thoughts and thank you.
Katie:
Your boyfriend should call our office or consult with another lawyer’s office immediately. There are many issues to consider, both jurisdictional and otherwise.
Sean Stephens
I have 13 and 16 year old daughters and my ex-husband and I have been divorced since 1998, with a very detailed custody plan in which I am the parent with primary physical residence, but we share joint custody. I allowed them to go live with their dad for one school year because they really wanted to find out what it was like to live with him (they only see him for a few weeks in the summer and every other spring break and every other Christmas). He lives in Iowa, and I in Oregon. Now they want to go live with their dad, even though the verbal agreement was that they come back here to live permanently after one year. They are back in my physical custody, but they are giving me a difficult time because I won’t let them go live with him now. People keep telling me that they are allowed to make a decision like this, but I keep telling them that the girls aren’t allowed to legally make that choice for themselves…that they would have to take me to court to get what they want. In case someone’s reading this who thinks I should let them make the choice….their reasons are materialistic…I am a lot more frugal with my money than he is, so we don’t go on the amount of vacations he does, and they also get to shop for clothing and shoes whenever they need them, and he is also less strict. We are both great parents, but financially different. Who is right? Me…or other people?
Jessica:
The court is concerned about what is in the children’s best interests, and not just what they want. While the opinion of a 13 and 16 year old is information the court may consider, it doesn’t mean the court would order a move. You should call us or consult with a mother lawyer about your situation.
At what age is a child not a minor anymore?
Lynda:
18.
My daughter is almost 15. She told me that her father and her have seen an attorney and she is going to go live with him as soon as she turns 15. My problem with this is that her father allows her to do anything she wants. His home is dirty. She has either slept on the couch or on the floor for years even though there are spare bedrooms. The list goes on. More importantly, the parenting plan has not been followed by him. Is it possible that a judge will listen to a 15 year old who simply doesn’t want to be told, “no” concerning anything in her life?
Annie:
Per our post, there is no magic age where a child gets a deciding vote, but older kids, through either a custody evaluator or a lawyer representing the child, can express a preference that has some weight with the court. A court may well listen to a 15 year old if the information is presented properly. You need to talk to a lawyer quickly. Call us, or set up an appointment with someone in your area immediately.
when do you give the children the rights to avoid the other parent. my kids are now 7 and 9. havnt seen them in 3 yrs. they say they dont want to visit. they have a dad where they are. they ask to change their last name. the mom tells me i am not thinking of their needs and wants. and she will not force them to do things they dont want to do. yet i ask, you force them to go to school, force them to eat what they dont like, etc. whats the difference. all a hear is excuses to keep the kids away from me. we had a very good relationship right up until the mom started yelling at me in front of the kids. calling me names, and even coming to get the kids when i had them, forcing them out of my home to go with her, while my wife was taking care of them, and i was at work for a few hours. what do i do in this situation. they wont even talk on the phone anymore. isnt this child abuse? i know they loved seeing me, and on many occasions didnt want to go back. i said they had to, because thats the way things work. so now? what is my course of action. please help
My 11 year old son lives with his father full time now, and such has been the case for the last six years. I, the mother get to spend time with my son twice per week and for a total of four hrs each of those days. I attend his baseball practices and games and physically see him around four to five times per week. If my son decides that he doesn’t want to visit with me those two days of the weeks, would the court grant that…Would they listen to an 11 year old wanting to end the legal appointed time with the mother? This is not the case, but my ex-husband stated to me that the court would listen to what my son wants and support him in not spending time with mom if he chose to. Please let me know your thoughts.. Thank you!
Claudia:
Absent some legitimate reason for your son not to visit, the wishes of an 11 year old may be considered, but will in no way force the court’s hand.
In Oklahoma Child Custody Court, the age is 12.
I’m wondering if a time-parenting study is the best way to go for my 12-year old son. My ex is the custodial parent, but we share decision making on a 50/50 basis and live 7 miles apart in the same town. Our visitation agreement is set up so I have my son with me Fri/Sat/Sun/Mon on my 1st visitation weekend of the month and then Friday-Friday (a full week) on my last visitation weekend of the month.
I am by far the more involved parent. I have volunteered in 3-4 youth organizations he’s been involved in, have attended every parent-teacher conference he’s ever had, stayed on top of his grades and in fairly regular contact with his teachers and have usually been the one who stayed home with him when he was sick or wound up being taken to the doctor/dentist. My ex is more concerned with finding her next hubby or with whom she’s currently dating and has a history of missing his games/concerts/etc… She rarely allows him to have friends over, has never allowed him to have a sleep-over and has never had a birthday party for him where he has been allowed to invite his friends. At age 12, my son has figured this out about his mother and even told me that she is using the child support payments to make her car and insurance payments and then tells him that she doesn’t have any money to spend on him. He still loves his mother and isn’t trying to change who is designated the custodial parent, but he wants to spend an equal amount of time with each of us — one week off and one week on year ’round. My ex is being very resistent to this change. At first she said, “it just wouldn’t work.” Then she told me that she, “just wasn’t ready for it.” Now she’s telling my youngest that he has no input into the visitation schedule until he’s at least 13-14 years old.
This is not a situation where one parent has a lot more money than the other parent (less than $5K difference) or has offered some type of “bribe” to him to induce him to ask for this change. If anything, the rules at my house are more strict. It’s just that my son realizes he has a better home life, his grades are better and he gets more quality parenting time when he’s with me. Do we have any reasonable options available to us or are we just stuck with the present situation?
My nephew’s father didn’t see him the first two years of his life, he just visit him once when he was 1 month old, after that he stop coming, never ask if the boy need anything, my sister had to ask for child support after 2 years, the father got extremely upset because of this, so a soon after this he whent to court to ask for some parenting time, they got and agreement he could see the kid Wednesday (2 hrs) & saturdays (8 hrs), for some time the parenting time was going well the kid has a ok relations with the father, we start notice that my nephew very agressive with my kids his cousins, hiding in the closet, going to any corner, tantrums, and when is was time to take him to see his father, my nephew say NO, as soon as the kid see his father come to pick him up, he cry with screaming, tantrums, kicks, pushing his father away, this events ocur every saturday that he have to take my nephew, my sister try that the kid go with his father but it was impossible, so father seen this behavior decide not to show anymore to the parenting time from Sept. 2011 until know, he say my sister is guilty, because she doesn’t force the kid to go with him, BUT HOW YOU GOING TO FORCE A KID OF 3 YEARS, when he is looking at you all scare, keep saying NOOOO please, my sister concern in my nephews behavior took him to see a therapyst, and after some visits the therapyst say that my nephew had ASPERGER SYNDROME, this kids need a lot of LOVE, this syndrome is relate to the AUTISM, the father to my sister back to court to chance his parenting time, my sister show to the Judge evidence of what could happen is my nephew is force to go with his father, and HE DIDN’T CARE, we understand that the father has rights but, we never denied the parenting time, the only thing that we want is that the father need to go to see a therapyst to learn how to undersant the behavior of his son and introduce the kid to his father againg slowly , but not the judge say that the father is allow to take the kid this saturday from 10am to 6pm, that the mother need to help the transition, and if she interfere with this she could go to JAIL.
Where is here the judge considerer the child, NEVER, he is no a normal kid, he has special needs, WHERE IS JUSTICE, we are extremely dissapoint to the system how it works, father doesn’t show, doesn’t care about the kid, and he wins. NOT FAIR
THANK YOU,
Don:
A parenting time study may be a good way to address your concerns. The legal standard for modification is what is in the “best interests” of the children, and it sounds like you have been putting him first with your activities and involvement. I would encourage you to call us to discuss your situation further.
I have a 12 going on 13 year old son who was in my custody until age of 9..now hes in the custody of his father..this change has been a struggle for our son and has learned to do his best in this situation as I have taught him to do so…he wanted to flunk out of school on purpose thinking that would get him back..he has prayed to god to send him back and wants to know why he cant..his dad accused me of alienation….his father..who was single at the time gave up his weekends alot due to wanting to go out of town..as I..single also..put all my time and energy in him as well as my niece i have raised since 2years old…I was active in their schools, sports, volunteering, church, awanas, school trips, etc…i have always invited him (the father ) to come, and he had every excuse not to….now that hes finally married for some time, he came back to take him from me as he threatened this at his birth…and the courts believed him and his wife and now hes the one doing to me all that he accused me of…es[ecially his wife..since thats who my son is with all the time..since the father is working ……doesnt tell him i called..and if so..its the nect day..takes his phone away from him all the time so we cant talk..hangs up the phone on him as hes talking to me because the wife wouldnt let him go into another room to talk to me, she said she has to be right there or else..then grabbed the phone and hung it up….many of times at practices..didnt allow me to talk to my son because it wasnt my day…i can go on and on…He has been aproblem since he was born and has taken me to court since he was 1 month old…and never got anywhere until he was really married for awhile..he does make more than me..and Ive never taken him to child support court for more money as his business has grown substantially……I just dont want anymore problems..this is all my son has known..he deserves to have a happy life with no strife and lies and stress, he wants more time with us and misses us…we only see him couple days a week and his dad never lets him stay longer or work anything ourt for vacation with us or my parents who have been there wince he was born as his father chose to run around and play the field…..I am still a single mom who will always put my children first before any relationship…what should i do…he is a master of deception to the courts and almost anyone he encounters….. help